Reject Isolation – Jesus’ Example of Living in Community 

By Roxanne Drury 

Paul Simon of Simon and Garfunkel, a musical duo that began in the mid to late ’60s, wrote a song called “The Sound of Silence”. According to Sean Kelly from Quora, “In The Sound of Silence, he (Paul Simon) was expressing his angst toward his and others’ feelings of alienation in a postmodern world. Part of this alienation is viewed as a result of our inability to communicate effectively with one another, combined with our ready acceptance of thought and opinion as provided by the mass media.” 

‘Alienation due to our inability to communicate effectively with one another.’ 

Whoa! Does that sound vaguely familiar? Aren’t psychologists and educators today saying that social media, video games, and cell phones have done just that? Aren’t we so tied to our phones, iPads, and computers that they have replaced a good old-fashioned one-on-one conversation? I’ve been known to spend (waste) an hour or more at a time scrolling through social media to find out what’s going on in people’s lives. But is that really the whole story of their lives? I would be willing to bet no! 

Social media has its place and uses, of course. Sharing exciting news, sending invitations, building a business, and perhaps sharing vacation pics are all excellent uses for social media. Should kids be allowed to have fun playing video games and watching TV? Sure. However, these activities should never replace one-on-one communication, and all too often they do.  

“Teens are spending an average of more than 7.5 to 8.5 hours a day using electronic media, including TV, the internet, video games, and mobile devices, according to a 2010 report by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation (quoted from Very Well Family).” I would suggest that this is causing a breakdown in the relationship-building process. People are meant to be in community—real-life community—not just a digital community. 

Jesus gave us a good example of how life is meant to be lived in community. Seriously, He talked to everyone, and He listened. Really listened. He asked tough questions. He gave straight answers. And He made people feel loved, accepted, and, well, important. That’s what being in community is all about. We get to know—really know—people, not just the good stuff that gets posted, but the bad, the ugly, and the truth of it all. 

Think about it. When you are scrolling through social media, there is no conversation, no communication, just silence—unless, of course, you see something funny; then you might hear yourself laugh. But no one is there to laugh with you. Just silence. 

The sound of silence can be lonely. It can be frightening. In the silence, your mind has room to compare, judge, feel jealous, resentful, fearful, and many other emotions that are not from God. God’s plan was for us to have people in our lives to do life with, not just watch it on a screen. 

In Genesis 2:18, God said: “It is not good for man to be alone.” 

In Galatians 6:2, Paul encourages believers to “bear one another’s burdens”. Kinda hard to do when your relationship is watch-only. 

Thus far, we have established that social media and cell phones have a place and a purpose, and that kids should be allowed to have a place and a time to play video games or watch TV. However, I would propose that we be smart about it. Set limits and practice what we preach for ourselves as much as for our children. 

Here are a couple of suggestions to help us all make the right choices when we are using our electronic devices: 

1. Be disciplined about how much time you spend on social media or using electronic devices (your kids are watching you). 

1. Set clear, hard boundaries on how much time you allow your kids to spend on social media or using electronic devices (including watching TV): number of hours per day, only on the weekend, only certain shows, etc.[Text Wrapping Break]3. If a real live person comes home or enters the room, they come first—put the device away.[Text Wrapping Break]4. Make a plan for those times when there is nothing to do. Instead of going for the Xbox, play family board games. Here’s a novel idea (no pun intended). Have a family reading time every day or once a week. Your kids’ teachers will thank you![Text Wrapping Break]5. Don’t be afraid to just turn off the TV, gather all electronic devices in a basket, and go cold turkey for a night and just talk. 

Warning: It might take a while to get the hang of this, but it is so worth it! 

Think about this: How is the sound of silence influencing you and your family? 

My kids are all grown now, but they still talk about the conversations we had at our family dinner table each night. It is absolutely worth making this move toward good old-fashioned talking with one another. I encourage you to give it a try. You won’t be sorry. 

Roxanne Drury is a wife, mother, grandmother, and retired Christian preschool teacher who served the Lord in children’s ministry for over 45 years. She has written a group study guide on Psalm 23, as well as other books. She may be reached at [email protected].