By Leo Hellyer
Do you ever have the feeling that you are being watched? Well, generally speaking, you are being watched. Please don’t worry. If you are living your life as a Christian man, more than likely you are being watched. If you are a father, your wife and children are more than likely watching you. Many people are watching you to see how a Christian man, father, husband, etc. handles life as it happens.
In a way, Christian men have many informal mentorship relationships, as different groups of people are looking at them for an example of living life in a manner that pleases God. It is important to remember that none of are perfect, but God uses us where we are, as we are, and continues to mold and refine us into who He created us to be.
Scripture speaks to us about this process of refining in Philippians 1:6. Paul shares that, “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” As imperfect as we are, God does not give up on us. He keeps chiseling on us to smooth out the rough edges and turn us into the masterpiece He designed us to be. We say that we desire God to do this chiseling, but are we really ready for that? There is a great video to watch that illustrates this very well. Go to YouTube and type in, Skit Guys – God’s Chisel. This video is very revealing and to-the-point about how many of us think about the process of growing in Christ Jesus.
If we are really willing to be obedient to God’s chiseling in our lives, we will be able to be a good example of a godly Christian man. Some men have chosen to be “professional” mentors as a vocation or ministry, but many more of us are being mentors by living life as a Christian man as well as we can.
Rodney D. Bullard, Vice President of Community Affairs at Chick-fil-A and the guest speaker for the 2023 Idaho State Prayer Breakfast, wrote a great book titled, “Heroes Wanted – Why the World Needs You to Live Your Heart Out.”
Mentors become heroes in the eyes of their mentees. You do not have to be perfect to be a heroic mentor, you just need to be willing to step up and share yourself with a brother who is on this roller coaster we call life. We need to share our heart with brothers that God brings along our path.
In this book, Bullard references many Bible verses for us to build our mentoring ministry upon. The first of these verses is 1 Samuel 16:7, “The Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
Bullard describes the building blocks of a solid mentor: calling, commitment, compassion, connection, conviction, community, courage, charity, and confidence. Great mentors lead by their hearts, and Bullard unpacks this by describing the type of hearts that he believes great mentors need to have – hearts of purpose, faithfulness, service, relationship, a heart to make a difference, unity, boldness, love, and hope.
As we make ourselves available to God, to walk beside other men on this adventure, He will provide us with divine appointments with men who He desires us to pour our lives into. We must always remember that it is God Almighty who is in control. He is the one who knows what is best for us, and for our mentee. Even when His divine appointments come at a time that we feel is inconvenient, His timing is perfect, and we need to be obedient to His lead.
We are not talking about being some secular self-improvement coach, helping men climb the corporate ladder; we are talking about speaking into, and saving the souls of, men. Bullard points out that, “Finishing well as a hero is not about finishing first. It’s about reaching the cross WITH those God has called us to care for, shepherd, mentor and love.”
Once again, we must remember that God takes us from where we are – flawed and needing chiseling – to smooth out the rough edges, to the point where He reveals who He designed each of us to be. We need to have the confidence to step out in faith, work through our imperfections, and let God perform a modern-day miracle through us – in our lives as well as in other men’s lives.
Don’t wait until the time is perfect; you will never get there. Heroes don’t plan their heroic deeds in advance; they respond to events around them in the moment, and they respond out of love, compassion, commitment, and courage. Men, we need to follow the servant leadership of Jesus Christ as we live our lives. We need to be bold and ask God to bring other men into our lives who He wants us to guide into the Kingdom. We need to step out in faith and be obedient to God’s direction and timing, and get our strength, compassion, and persistence from Him alone.
There are men all around us, waiting for a hero to follow. Don’t leave them hanging. Serve, lead, and sacrifice for others. You will receive your reward from God Almighty.
Leo Hellyer is a non-staff pastor with a Treasure Valley church and has been married to his wife Norma for 50 years. Leo and Norma served together on the Boise FamilyLife Volunteer Ministry Team for 20 years. Leo has served with Boise Rescue Mission Ministries for 22 years, currently at the River of Life Rescue Mission. He is President and Chief Firearms Instructor with Helping Hands Firearms Training LLC, and is a Civilian Taser Instructor. If you have any questions about Real Man’s Toolbox, or need other assistance, he may be reached at [email protected] or (208) 240-5544.