Real Man’s Toolbox – Where Are The ‘Real Men’ in This World?

By Leo Hellyer

As we come to the end of 2022 and near the beginning of 2023, there are many questions to ask about the world we are living in. We see turmoil in much of our world, and in our country. We see much abundance, and we see some glaring shortages in our world societies. As we look at the deficiencies in the civilized world we can ask a simple, but at the same time complicated, question: where are the “real men”?

God gave us a set of instructions detailing how He designed a civilized world society to function: the Bible. As we examine the populations of the “civilized world,” we find one very consistent missing building block: biblical male leadership, particularly in the home. There is a great book that unpacks very effectively the foundation of society that needs to be repaired, strengthened, and hardened for the betterment of the civilized world.

This book is titled “Take It Back: Reclaiming Biblical Manhood for the Sake of Marriage, Family and Culture” and is written by Dr. Tim Clinton and Max Davis. This is a critical addition to any Real Man’s Toolbox. Many of the Scriptures in the column you are reading are referenced in this great book.

Many men who are leaders at different levels today did not have an example of biblical male leadership in their lives to guide them into manhood. In 1 Kings 2:2, we read David’s dying instructions to his son Solomon, “Be strong and show yourself a man.” These are instructions that we should follow today as well. Biblical male leaders, at every level of leadership, need to be seen, heard, followed, and looked up to as an individual to emulate. We need to return to the days where young men looked up to faithful Christian men as heroes worthy of following and of mirroring. The purest leaders do not lead in a way that brings attention to themselves. They lead by example and service. In Ephesians 2:8 we learn that, “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.”

The Bible is a book of truths, directly from the God of Creation. Over much of man’s existence, these biblical truths have been followed by many leaders and have been sought after by mainstream members of society. However, in the last 50 to 60 years, these biblical truths have been, twisted, manipulated, and watered down by much of society, to the point where these biblical truths are being challenged, ignored, or outright not believed.

There was a shining light in October of 1997 when 600,000 to 1,000,000 or more men gathered in Washington, D.C. at Stand in the Gap, a sacred assembly of men. This was a gathering, a movement of men, brought about by a ministry called Promise Keepers. Ezekiel 22:30 states, “I sought for a man among them who should build up the wall and stand in the gap before me for the land.” I had the privilege to attend this gathering of men. It was a very meaningful, challenging, emotional, and foundational time. A huge gathering of men stood in the gap to shore up our weakened walls. However the spark that was lit in many men in 1997 never grew into a purifying fire that could cleanse society.

What we need is for that spark, or a new spark, to be rekindled and magnified by consistent breaths of life. In Ephesians 4:31 we read, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” We as Christian men should be seeking to do what the men at Stand in the Gap did in 1997. We need to be able to concentrate on our commonalities and not our differences. We need men to be familiar with God’s Word; we need men to be in God’s Word continually. We need men who use God’s Word as the roadmap that they follow on their journey of life. We need men to share their biblical insights, experiences, and revelations with the other men, women, and children that God brings into their lives.

Men, none of us can be passive any longer. We need to heed the call of God, we need to stand up and be counted. We need to follow what is shared in Nehemiah 4:14, “Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives and your homes.”

We need men who will fight for what is right, honest and true. We need men who will care for their family’s spiritual, financial, physical, relational, nutritional, and health needs. We need men who are more concerned about their family’s needs than their own.

As we look throughout history, we can see that the health of societies correlates directly with the health of individual families within that society. Families without a strong male leader present have a high propensity of mediocrity, dysfunction, or complete failure. This is not something that should continue within family lines once present. A single dedicated, strong, faithful man of God can turn it around and redirect the trajectory of an entire family’s  contribution to society.

As God leads men, men need to lead those who God has entrusted to each man’s care and love. Men, we need to be present in our families, and we need to lead our families, as God leads the Church: with an abundance of love and grace! Men must be present to lead. Many great men who served in the military were valiantly leading their families while not being with them physically for a measure of time. These men were still very present within their families. God richly blesses a faithful father.

As Christian men are more present in their families, and are leading them in Christian love, children will look upon their fathers as their heroes instead of looking to imaginary superheroes  or sports figures without a Christ-based moral compass. Men of God, rise up and face the battle. The future of your children and grandchildren depends on it.

Leo Hellyer is a non-staff pastor with a local church and has been married to his wife Norma for 50 years. The couple volunteered with the Boise FamilyLife Ministry Team for 20 years. Leo has also been serving with Boise Rescue Mission Ministries for 20 years and is currently serving at the River of Life Rescue Mission. He is president and chief firearms instructor with Helping Hands Firearms Training LLC. If you have questions about Real Man’s Toolbox, or need other assistance, Leo may be reached at [email protected] or (208) 340-5544.