Real Man’s Toolbox – Leadership includes unconditional love 

By Leo Hellyer 

We are living in a world of conflict. As men we are called to lead. We are called to lead in our families, churches, businesses, ministry, politics, etc. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, some men have vacated their leadership role. A lot of times, leadership is not fun, or easy. We all need to step up to the plate and become leaders in our part of society. Unfortunately, quite a few men did not have a good role model in their lives of what a man looks like as they lead. 

For men to lead, they must be present, physically, and emotionally. If we, as men, do not accept our role as leader, those around us suffer and must pick up what we are not doing. For those men who did not have a good role model to follow while they were growing up, there is a significant role model who is available 24/7 and his name is Jesus. 

Ken Blanchard, Phil Hodges, and Phyllis Hendry, in their book “Lead Like Jesus” state that: “Leadership happens anytime we influence the thinking, behavior, or development of another person, and that Jesus is the greatest leadership role model of all time. Jesus was the epitome of Servant Leadership.” In Mark 10:45 we read, “Even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His Life as a ransom for many.” 

As Christians, every day we are to strive to become more Christ-like. We will never achieve that divine end, but we should always be moving toward that goal. Paul gives us great direction in Colossians 1:10 when he says, “Live a life worthy of the Lord and please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God.” 

As men, it is extremely easy for us to get distracted. Our minds wander, our eyes wander, our feet wander. Particularly when we are tired, it is easy for us to turn from the servant leader mindset and become self-centered and egotistical. We must make a concerted effort to stay on the course that God wants us on and not allow anything to veer us off course.   

We need to pay a considerable amount of attention to our mindset and to develop our mindset as close to Christ Jesus as we can. When we lead, wherever we are, whoever we are leading, we need to get our direction, foundation, insight, and compassionate love from Jesus Christ. As we lead, as much as we can we must take on the habit of obeying God and expressing His unconditional love. Once again, in Colossians 3:12-14, Paul instructs us that “As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” 

It is not productive if we do not lead with love. Without love, our leadership is off course. Without love, our leadership becomes overly directive and judgmental. Without love, our leadership becomes divisive instead of unifying. Without love, our leadership destroys instead of building up. How we lead can affect those who we are leading for the rest of their lives either positively or negatively. 

We need to lead as God directs us, not how the world skews us. We must live in this world, but we cannot allow this world to direct our path. Paul addresses this in Romans: 12:2, when he says “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will.” 

As we interact with people around us, and as we react to the “stuff of life” that we face, we have choices to make. There is a great statement that applies perfectly: “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it.” 

When less than desirable things happen to us, that should not define who we are or how we react to other people. If our foundation of life is based on Jesus Christ, we can follow His direction, exercise His compassion, and react to life situations and relationships with His grace. If we will go to Jesus as a mentor, as the blueprint for manhood, then our life and our leadership — in all facets of our existence — will be based on a solid foundation of compassion, service, grace, consideration, and love. 

Near the end of the book “Lead Like Jesus,” the authors include the words of Paul from 1 Timothy 1:5 when he says, “The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.” When we lead, we need to lead from our Christ-based heart, not our ego. Our leadership must be built on a foundation of godly love, not on a power trip. We need to lead with understanding and compassion instead of power, might, and anger. 

Many greatly influential men are openly sharing who is the foundation of their leadership style. Football coaches and players, generals and admirals, political leaders, CEOs, musicians, the military’s tier one special missions units, to name a few, are all making it clear that the foundation of their lives is Jesus Christ. 

Men, let Jesus be your mentor, guide, and savior, and the foundation for your life in all its facets. 

Leo Hellyer is a non-staff pastor with a local church and has been married to his wife Norma for 50 years. The couple volunteered with the Boise FamilyLife Ministry Team for 20 years. Leo has also been serving with Boise Rescue Mission Ministries for more than 20 years and is currently serving at the River of Life Rescue Mission. He is president and chief firearms instructor with Helping Hands Firearms Training LLC. If you have questions about Real Man’s Toolbox, or need other assistance, he may be reached at [email protected] or (208) 340-5544.