By Joan Endicott
“A Spanish father, desperate to reconcile with his son, placed an advertisement in the local newspaper, El Liberal. The ad read: ‘Paco, meet me at the Hotel Montana at noon on Tuesday. All is forgiven. Love, Papa.’ Paco was a common name in Spain, and when the father arrived at the Hotel Montana the next day, he found eight hundred young men named Paco waiting for their fathers, all hoping for the forgiveness they so desperately needed.” — Ernest Hemingway, shared in his collection titled, “The Capital of the World.”
Friend, pause, take a deep breath and ponder this scene and its profound meaning. In that moment, we witness the raw vulnerability and unyielding hope of a heart that desires restoration. It’s quite an emotional picture in our mind’s eye, imagining these eight hundred young men demonstrating the universal longing we all have for forgiveness — a call planted deep within our souls by our Heavenly Father. Psalm 34:14 tells us to “seek peace and pursue it,” a command that not only guides us in our relationships but also in our walk of faith.
Our hearts yearn for reconciliation. Forgiveness is not a one-time act; it is a continuous journey. Whether we are reconciling with a loved one or facing the internal battles that come from past hurts, it all affects our peace.
Recently, on a coaching call with one of my all-time-favorite clients who I’ll refer to as “M,” I was again reminded of the power of reconciliation. M’s life is one of remarkable honor, integrity and character — a man whose faith, family, and charitable work are among his highest priorities. Not only is he a very successful author, speaker and business leader, but he also navigates unimaginable situations in the Middle East and across multiple countries as he travels. Over the seven years I have had the honor of coaching him, I have witnessed transformations borne out of trials and moments of deep introspection.
On that call, M recounted the staggering challenges he’d faced just in the week since our last call. He lives in places where freedom is only a dream, not reality. Countries where decisions are made for you — decisions that could shatter a life overnight; and once again, M’s faith was put to the test. Though the situation was shocking, traumatic, scary and filled with uncertainty, he responded with the unwavering resolve of someone who has learned the true meaning of peace. In his own reflective words, he said: “Joan, I am so grateful to God and to you for this journey. With all the things we’ve worked through, I’m in a great place! Everything is set so my family would be well taken care of financially and otherwise — most importantly, my family relationships are great! It’s a wonderful feeling, my friend. I’m so grateful my house is in order!”
I could hear and feel the deep, abiding peace in his voice — the freedom in declaring, “My house is in order!” This declaration is not just a statement about financial stability or external success; it is about the inner order that comes when you commit to healing relationships and live out God’s call for reconciliation.
It is precisely in the fire of adversity that God refines our character. Our struggles have a way of clarifying what is most important. When chaos surrounds us, our hearts cry out for order and peace. And God, in His mercy, provides us with opportunities to restore what has been broken.
In my desire to stay focused on what matters most, I often remind myself: Crisis Creates Clarity. In the midst of uncertainty, pain and crisis, what truly matters becomes crystal clear. Whether it’s the poignant story of Paco and his father or M’s brush with uncertainty in some harsh and repressive environments, the truth remains the same: our hearts hunger for genuine connection. We long for the peace that comes when every mistake is confronted, every hurt addressed, and every conversation held in love.
Ask yourself today: Can you declare, “My House is in Order!” with the people and relationships that matter most to you? Just imagine the transformation if every unresolved issue were met with intentional and courageous conversation. Picture the peace that would fill your heart if every stone of resentment were removed from the foundation of your relationships. Just think about it — each step of resolution not only mends bridges but also strengthens the very structure of your life.
I encourage you, dear one, to take a moment and examine your innermost relationships. Are there conversations you’ve been avoiding? Does it feel like something has unraveled or things are left undone or unsaid? Have unspoken words slowly eroded the foundation of your trust? In these moments, God is calling you to action. The path to a “house in order” is paved with these Truths: forgiveness, courage, and the humility to extend grace even when it is hard.
No relationship can ever be perfect on this side of heaven. We live in a world where, unfortunately, hurting people — hurt people. There will always be those who, because they are unhappy, want others to be unhappy and seem to thrive on creating discord. When I first read the following statement a few years ago, it had a visceral effect: “Never feel guilt over cutting ties with someone who handed you the scissors.” – Anonymous
It was as if I’d suddenly been granted permission to protect myself from unhealthy people who try to control, criticize, manipulate and bully those around them. In fact, just last year I signed a contract with a client who I didn’t know but was a referral from someone I absolutely adored. Naturally, I thought birds of a feather flock together and all that jazz. Unfortunately, it was the absolute worst client experience of my 40 years as a speaker, for some of those very reasons. I share this simply to let you know that if people have tried to control you, devalue you and take advantage, you are not alone. I hope this serves to encourage and empower you to ensure you are taking steps to protect your well-being. While you are called to love and value others, you also get to live in the value and worth God gave you, as His image bearer!
I felt that was an important point to make even though in this context I’m focused more on what we can do when it comes to those relationships that truly matter. I call these interactions Courageous Conversations. They are the discussions that require us to be vulnerable and strong at the same time — to let go of past hurts and embrace future hope.
It takes courage to initiate these connections. We must pause, reflect, and then step forward, with no guarantee of our desired outcome. But if our motivation is love and if we are anchored in God’s Truth and wisdom, then every step is a step toward a future where our heart’s foundation is intact, where our “house” is truly in order. The Bible is not only God’s Holy Word, it is overflowing with practical counsel for living our best life.
Remember, these conversations are not meant to police the actions or reactions of others. They are about owning our part and about pursuing the peace that God intends for us. As Romans 12:18 exhorts us, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Our focus must always be on what we can control — our attitudes, our words, and our willingness to forgive.
Here are some steps I recommend for those ready do their part in restoring relationships:
No matter how our story began, we are writing the next chapter right now. Since God’s mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23), then so is opportunity for restoration through faith, courage, and grace.
– If reconciliation is possible, pursue it.
– If healing is needed, seek it.
– If letting go is necessary, release it.
Before this day ends, ask God and yourself: “Is my house in order?” If anything feels undone, simply take that first step. You are not alone in this journey. The Prince of Peace Himself loves you more than you can imagine and desires to walk with you. Let today be the day you take the first step.
Grab your FREE copy of Joan Endicott’s “I Get To!”® book and be one of the first to be notified when her 2nd one if available “I Get To!”® Own My Worth! at www.JoanEndicott.com. Joan is an Award-Winning Keynote Speaker, Author and Coach whose coaching has reached over 30 countries. Find out more at www.JoanEndicott.com.
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