By Sandy Jones
Life is hard.
Please don’t stop reading there – I think you’ll find hope in this column.
Yes, life is hard.
We moved a lot when I was a kid, so I went to four different grade schools.
That was hard.
I was a complete and total nerd in high school.
The teasing and bullying were hard.
I was a single mom at 19.
Yep. Hard.
I had a failed marriage by 29, and was once again a single mom, this time to two wonderful boys.
Still hard.
Lost my parents 19 days apart in 2007, and helped our youngest son and his kids bury their wife and mother in 2015.
Really hard.
Lost my own sweet Steve the first of this year.
Difficult 26-month journey with a heartbreaking end.
Yet through all of these “hard” times two things remained steadfastly the same: God’s still on the Throne and fully in control; AND I had the choice of how to walk through each of these seasons.
I completely understand that we all process hard times, and grief, differently; but I still believe we also have the freedom of choice in our response to much of it.
For example, on a cold, rainy Monday morning in April, a friend of mine shared on social media how she’d been struggling that morning. Nothing seemed to help her shake her funk, until she decided to choose gratitude and spent time going through many of the things she has to be grateful for. Funk gone. With a new perspective, and renewed energy, she’d won her day back! Despite some recent medical issues, and honestly probably feeling weak and rundown, she shifted her mindset through gratitude.
I had one of those Southern Baptist praying Grandmas who lived in Iowa. She introduced every one of her grandchildren to Jesus. Made sure they knew Who He is. We may not have grown up going to church, but between our Grandma and Vacation Bible School, I learned at an early age how to pray.
So when we’d move and I changed schools again, I’d pray and ask God to help me not be so nervous, and to help me find new friends.
Part of me being a total nerd was that I loved to learn, and I must have been somewhat intelligent based on my GPA, but I struggled with fitting in, and again, finding friends. It was through prayer that I found my strength to keep going back to school each day. I also learned the value of a small group of loyal friends who loved and accepted me just as I was.
I prayed over my marriage, and my sons.
After my divorce I met my sweet Steve, and we rededicated our lives, choosing to live them for The Lord. We knew His Word, and knew that this didn’t mean our lives would get easier, or perfect – but we had the comfort of knowing that whatever life threw at us, God would carry us through.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33 NIV).
So, I prayed when my Dad got sick.
And I prayed for my Mom when my Dad passed – and for the strength to carry on when she passed suddenly just 19 days later.
I bargained with God to take me instead of our daughter-in-law, knowing full well that’s not how it works, but understanding that He knows me and my fully human heart. I knew He heard every single prayer, and not just mine, but legions of others who were praying with us.
I learned in so many ways that sometimes when it appears His answer is “no,” it’s often “not yet” or “I have a plan, trust Me.”
At the time of writing this, it’s been just a few months since Steve’s passing.
We prayed. Our family prayed. Our church prayed. So many of you prayed.
And God heard each and every one of those prayers.
He had a plan.
God showed up, answered those prayers, carried us through that time, and at the end of it all Steve received a Heavenly Healing.
Frequently people ask me how I’m doing. My standard reply is usually “overall, I’m doing well.” If pressed, I will admit that late night, overnight and early mornings are my hardest times – I do miss Steve, but I also rejoice in knowing that he is with our Lord and Savior in a new, cancer-free, pain-free body, singing “Hallelujah” with the Heavenly Choir. How could I be sad knowing that?
I know that Scripture tells us that into each life there will be trouble.
But I also know that God is bigger than the troubles of this world – that even when things end differently than we would have personally chosen, He is faithful and true to carry us through and will greet us with open arms to live truly happily ever after in the paradise we know as Heaven.
My Mom used to tell us, “It’s a great life, if we don’t weaken.”
She was right, and the only way I’ve found to not weaken is to lean into and onto our Heavenly Father. So if you’re struggling with things right now, I encourage you to lean on Him, and allow Him to carry you through whatever it is you’re dealing with. He loves you more than you might ever guess. He loves you so much that He sent His one and only Son to take your place on that cross on Calvary.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him (John 3:16-17 NIV).
Until next time…
God Bless!
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