By Bethany Riehl
“…give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Years ago, my sister had us over for dinner. Pot roast. It was delicious and being a new bride that wanted to know how to cook all the things, I asked her for the recipe. It was pretty straightforward, but one of the instructions was puzzling – I had to cut the roast in half.
It made no sense. Why? Remember, I was a new cook and touching meat gave me the heebie jeebies. I’ve (mostly) outgrown this. When I asked my sister why the roast needed to be cut in half, she admitted that she’d never thought about it. She tracked the family member that had given her the recipe originally, and she, also perplexed, looked for the answer.
Through a series of phone calls, we discovered that the originator of the recipe didn’t have a pan big enough to fit the roast as is and she had to cut it in half. And thus, many women after her were cutting their roasts for no reason.
I still find humor in this story, but recently it hit me that this is a simple example of how influential mothers can be.
In my yearly Bible reading plan, I read one Psalm a day until I’ve read the whole book, then move on to one chapter from Proverbs a day, then start over. So twice I year I come upon Proverbs 14:1, “The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.”
We have such an incredible privilege, ladies, to shape the next generation. Indeed, we’re shaping it, whether it’s intentional or not. For whether it’s a recipe, a habit, or an opinion, our children are taking what we give them and carrying it with them into life.
A dear woman at church and I share funny reels, beginning around August, about putting up Christmas trees and décor early. We joke about setting up the tree while everyone is out at the pumpkin patch or some such thing. But the closer we get to the holiday season, the more the algorithm thinks I want to see reels about women complaining through “humor” about how much work the holidays take and how clueless their husbands are.
Ladies, this is not the way.
We are the Maker of the Memories, the Keeper of Traditions, the Heart of our Homes. What a privilege! What a joy! Let’s not waste – or miss it! – by grumbling.
My oldest is a senior this year and I’m feeling big emotions about everything. Her last summer vacation, last first day of school, her last holiday season in our home, her last…you get the idea. Someone asked me recently how I’m doing with having a senior and I answered, “Like I’m reevaluating every decision I’ve ever made!” Not because I’m worried about any of my children, they are honestly incredible humans. No, it’s just that there is no going back. What’s the foundation I’ve laid for them?
Since my oldest is almost a carbon copy of me, she has also been sentimental this year. It’s fun to hear her planning our seasonal traditions and drawing her friends into them. Listening to her fills me with joy – and relief. She has fond memories of our traditions and family culture and sees her parents as flawed-but-redeemed people that have taught her to love and trust the Lord. Praise God.
So how can we do this, moms? How can we set aside our human tendency to grumble and get overwhelmed and create an atmosphere of thanksgiving, praise, and joy this season and all year long?
First, we get in the Word and we get the Word into us. Prayer, daily immersion in Scripture, memorization, working it into conversations with our kids; letting the Word shape our actions and thoughts. Over and over and over. It might feel clunky and tedious at first, but by God’s strength and power at work in us, it becomes second nature. He is sovereign, yes, but we are responsible to obey. This includes being diligent over what we listen to, watch, and consume.
“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers, but his delight is in the law of the LORD and on His law he meditates day and night.” (Psalm 1:1-2)
Next, cultivate a home of thanksgiving. Be an example of contentment.
Is your home not what you want it to be? Be thankful anyway, choose to verbally rejoice in what you do love about your house and circumstances and find ways to share with others.
Love on your neighbors, pray for them, invite them to church, lavish them with treats at Christmas time. Ask the Lord to help you when they annoy you, to love them anyway and be His light to them.
Third, serve your church with thankfulness. God has provided other believers to pray with and for, live life with, and pursue holiness with. What a gift! Don’t just be a consumer, or spectator – get involved. I tell you that if this is not already your practice, it will bring more joy than you can imagine, and your kids will follow suit.
I believe that the number one reason kids leave church when they grow up is because they’ve never seen it as important because their parents only went when they felt like it and never got involved, so church never became “theirs.” Encouraging kids to find a way to serve their church has an extraordinary impact on how they view Christ and His Church. Kids can serve by helping to clean up/set up, in kids ministry, on the tech team. Let them help you make and deliver dinner if you’re on the meals ministry! It’s incredible how much they want to be part of it.
Lest you get the idea I’m lecturing, please know that these are all things the Lord taught me through the example of my parents and through much of my own trial and error. I spent the early years of our marriage and our daughters’ childhoods being discontented in my home and thinking church was there to serve me. Grumbling, complaining, self-pity; all were my constant companions.
Until one year, by God’s grace, I actually stuck to a daily Bible reading plan. That same year I did a study on 1 John and began to see that it was not enough to agree with the Bible, but I had to actually do what it said. And it changed everything. By God’s grace my children now look forward to the little things that make up our family culture: a special breakfast the first day of school, a day in October dedicated to raking the widow’s leaves next door, hosting friends for dinner and a bonfire on Reformation Day/Halloween and passing out candy, family game night with the Christmas Crooners playlist in the background, shopping for someone in need around Christmas and laughing hysterically at the one that tiptoes to the front door, sets the gift basket down, then rings the bell and runs like the wind to get out of sight in time. We got involved – really involved – in church, and as a result, so did our daughters.
Thankfulness, joy, church, and serving became the heartbeat of our home once the Lord Himself used His Word to cure me of my grumbling and discontentment.
I have friends that host their neighbors for coffee and cinnamon rolls every Christmas Eve.
A family at church serves hot dogs to anyone that comes by their driveway on Halloween.
I recently met a woman who invited me to come to her Christmas open house and enjoy some cookies. She and her husband have been doing this for 50 years and it’s such a part of them that they made up cards to carry all year and invite people to come!
I know there are as many traditions out there as people.
For every tradition that you create or uphold, mama, your kids will most likely do the same. Will they enjoy it as you do? Or will they grumble and complain…as you do?
These are important things to ask ourselves and press into. We are the Maker of the Memories, the Keeper of the Traditions, the Heart of the Home. What kind of memories, traditions, and homes do you want to cultivate?
“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of our Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” (Colossians 3:17)
Bethany Riehl lives in the Treasure Valley with her husband, three kids, and a dog. She writes articles and fictional novels when she can, and her one desire is to point others to the love and sufficiency of Jesus Christ.
