By Joan Endicott
“The problem is you don’t believe God, Joan.” What? I thought. I most certainly do believe God!
“Well, if you do, why would you constantly struggle with feeling inadequate, inferior and insecure? Why are you continually worried, anxious and stressed about what others think of you? You fear being left out, critical words, rejection (real or imagined) and not being seen, heard or valued by others.”
Exactly—that’s normal! No one wants that!
“Nobody wants that, but when your soul finds satisfaction in the worth your Creator wove into you when He formed you in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13), you won’t feel the need to look further! So, whose lens are you looking at yourself through—your loving Creator’s or a critical, condemning one?”
As I was seeking and searching, praying and crying out to God, having this back-and-forth dialogue with myself, I felt the Holy Spirit provide a divine download of clarity. In that moment, I realized most, if not all, of my past pain, hangups and heartaches about my self-worth had everything to do with my believing more of the messaging from other broken humans than the Truth of my Creator’s messages about me!
That realization was a turning point for me that helped put things into their proper perspective. It helped change everything for me. Of course, I would love to report that this was permanent and I’ve not struggled with owning my God-given worth again. However, this being a true story and not a fairy tale, we both know that nothing is permanent in this human condition we’re in. Romans 12:2 encourages and reminds us to be transformed by the RE-NEWING of our minds. It’s a constant choice we get to make. Our lives are changed as our minds are made new.
You see, our biggest battle is in our beliefs: Do I believe God, my soul’s very source, or the enemy of my soul, the devil? I believe the devil’s done his destructive deed if he simply plants a doubt-seed. Isn’t that what he did to Eve? Then the dominos start to fall, and he doesn’t need to do anything else at all. Once we doubt God’s Word about our worth, we can watch ourselves shrivel and shrink back and do nothing that we were designed for. If we listen to the devil’s dialogue, it will always take us down the destruction path. “Satan is a liar and the father of lies,” John 8:44, and, “The thief (Satan) comes only to steal, kill and destroy,” John 10:10. In the ultimate contrast, Jesus then declares why He came: to give us life—abundantly!
Remember the cartoons with the angel on the right shoulder and the devil on the left? That is a simple yet powerful visual of the battle for our soul. With every thought we have a choice as to whose voice we listen to and believe! How grateful we can be for Jesus giving us the only example we need. Every time Satan showed up to tempt Jesus, He rebuked him and spoke the Word of God with complete authority! That’s our guarantee, that speaking God’s Truth dissolves all lies! That’s why memorizing the Word is so important because to speak it, we must first know it.
In the movie “Creed”, Adonis “Donnie” Johnson (played by Michael B. Jordan) is the son of former heavyweight champion Apollo Creed. He follows Rocky (played by Sylvester Stallone) as they walk up to the huge, mirrored wall in the training room. Adonis strikes a pose with a wide stance and fists up in front of his face in the fighting position. Rocky taps on the mirror with his reading glasses and says, “You see this guy here staring back at’cha? That’s your toughest opponent! Every time you get into the ring, that’s who you’re goin’ against. I believe that in boxing and I do believe that in life.”
That scene deeply connected to me and spoke to my soul—I could certainly relate! Can you? Rocky was right! That is true in life when we are looking through the wrong lens! I was also challenged by that reality as I knew it was certainly not God’s plan for us to look in the mirror and see our biggest opponent and critic! When our beliefs are in alignment with what God says about us, the one in the mirror should be one of our biggest champions, encouragers, cheerleaders and sources of love and compassion.
I realized I had a lot of work to do if I wanted to finally begin looking at myself through my Creator’s loving lens rather than my critical, condemning one. It meant 1) DE-constructing what my beliefs had been built upon, 2) evaluating everything about the destructive dialogue I had become accustomed to, then 3) RE-constructing it on God’s Truth. It meant choosing courage over comfort and digging deep to look at all the past lies, negative labels and limiting beliefs.
Questions to filter your thoughts:
- Where is that message coming from?
- What is the source?
- Whose voice do I hear?
- Is it in alignment with what God says in His Word? If not, rebuke the devil and douse those lies with God’s Truth to finally be free!
“If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31b-32)
Have you ever looked at someone you love so deeply and desperately and wondered how in the world they could feel inadequate, inferior or insecure? There have been countless times I’ve wished my amazing children (now grandchildren, too) could see what I see when I look at them—their uniqueness, their talents, gifts and abilities—as I know that perspective would give them the courage and confidence to do whatever God lays on their hearts to do.
Though pale in comparison to how much God loves and celebrates us, it gives us a glimpse of how it must grieve the heart of God when we children of the King of Kings devalue ourselves. As a daughter of the King the truth is, I am a princess. Which means, when my loving Father, the King, has a beautiful banquet prepared, there is always a place for me at the table with Him.
But if I don’t make a conscious choice to believe what He says and own the worth He wove into me, I can easily be deceived into believing that I am merely a poor pauper who deserves nothing more than to scrounge around under the table for scraps. I imagine my gracious and patient Father seeing me and wondering why I’m down there—then holding His hand out, once again inviting me to sit next to Him and enjoy the beautiful banquet.
My friend, I know this isn’t easy, but no battle that’s worth fighting is. I spent so many years struggling to feel like I was enough, to know that I mattered, hoping for confirmations and affirmations from others. The problem with that is, everyone else is as broken as I am. Everyone else is seeking and searching for the same thing. We all have a legitimate need, a God-shaped void that only He can fill. In our humanness we can try and fill that legitimate need by illegitimate means: people we know, places we go, possessions we own and positions we hold. As our Creator, He alone can assign our value and worth and no other entity has the power to dispute or refute that. For the French designer Louis Vuitton, handbags can range from hundreds to thousands of dollars. The Urban Satchel handbag has sold for a whopping $150,000.00. The “Messiah Stradivarius” is considered the most expensive violin globally, with a value of approximately $200 million. It is currently in a collection at the Ashmolean Museum in Oxford, England. The value placed on these items is based solely on the signature of their designer/creator. For these to have social proof of their value, at least one person needed to agree enough with that assessment to purchase it. The great news for us is, no one need agree with our Creator’s assessment of us for it to be true.
I am living proof that God can put his super on your natural to give you supernatural victory where you’ve never had it before. I pray this every time I struggle with unbelief: “I believe Lord, help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)
Mark 12:30-31 confirms what matters to the heart of God: “‘And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” So, what is the assumption there? That you and I are loving ourselves as God intended. When I am focused on loving God, and others as myself, I will not be focused on my insecurities because I am secure in Him. So essentially, I am Him-secure, so I cannot be in-secure.
Is it time to finally wage war about your worth—with words?
Every moment of every day, you and I get to choose whose words we believe!
Grab your FREE copy of Joan Endicott’s “I Get To!”® book and videos at www.JoanEndicott.com. Joan is an Award-Winning Keynote Speaker, Author and Coach whose coaching has reached over 30 countries. Meet her and enjoy her encouraging messages on Facebook and Instagram.