Addicted to Jesus— Brian Welch: From Rock-bottom to Redemption

Brian Welch nervously dials a number on his cell phone. A few years ago, that number represented an invitation to party-a pal willing to join in on a drug binge.
Addicted to Jesus-
Brian Welch: From Rock-bottom to Redemption
By Jason Chatraw

Brian Welch nervously dials a number on his cell phone. A few years ago, that number represented an invitation to party-a pal willing to join in on a drug binge. Today, the number means something different, but Welch isn't sure what. Maybe it's rejection-or a chance to tell his amazing story of redemption.
It wasn't that long ago that Welch (more commonly referred to as "Head") led the punk rock band, Korn. With deft guitar skills, Welch helped take Korn from playing in small local venues across Southern California to playing in major stadiums and arenas across the country. But a growing dissatisfaction began brooding deep within Welch. Dissatisfaction with his life-despite the fame and riches of his band-began to press him to search for answers.
"My god was money," Welch tells Christian Living. "I had to make more money and more money. No matter how much I had, it was never enough. And when I got hooked on speed and it turned into an every-day addiction, my money couldn't help me break that habit-and that was my breaking point. I was sick of playing the same old songs, and the new song weren't any good. The only thing that kept me going was my daughter. I kept on thinking, I've got everything, but I'm still miserable. She's going to have anything she wants and probably still be miserable, so what's the point. I was toast. I had no hope."

Quest for Hope

Welch's desperation pushed him to discover something-anything-that would help him find peace in his life.
"I would tell people that I was going to quit drinking and doing drugs, but I just couldn't," Welch says. "So I asked around, and people told me that I needed to get a good shrink. I tried to find the best psychiatrist money could buy, so I started going to Kurt Cobain's shrink-he was the shrink of the stars. I didn't put it together at the time that he wasn't really that good. I paid him so much money because he was the top dude, and I thought my money could buy me happiness; but it couldn't. I wound up doing it all again."
As Welch's addiction to speed began to strengthen, he became a "functioning" drug addict. In his quest to make more money, he began investing with two Southern California real estate moguls. While turning quick profits pleased Welch, the emptiness remained. The result drove him to cry out for help to an unlikely source-one of his real estate partners.
"It got to the point where I couldn't trust anybody," Welch says. "I thought most of the people who were my friends were there because I had money. But for some reason, I started trusting these two partners of mine and fired off an e-mail to one of them late one night, sharing about my frustration with some of my relationships. That started a good conversation with them."

A Word from the Lord

That conversation reached a tipping point one morning when Welch received an odd e-mail from the business partner he had been e-mailing about his problems. "He wrote me at 3:30 in the morning and said the Lord woke him up and told him to send me a scripture," Welch says. "The verse was Matthew 11:28: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." It was exactly what I needed to hear at that time. So, I began asking some questions.
"Could this be real? Could God be real? And if He was real, could he wake some guy up in the middle of the night and give him some scripture just for me? Or was this just a guy trying to help me? That started this tug of war in my soul-wanting it to be real, thinking it could be God or thinking this guy is a weirdo. I needed Jesus to be real more than I wanted him to be a weirdo."

Save Me from Myself

It wasn't long before God won the tug of war in Welch's soul, which resulted in his conversion and sent shockwaves through the punk rock community. Word quickly spread throughout Southern California that Welch was going to share his story at a church in Bakersfield. Following a riveting interview with the church's pastor, around 500 kids gave their lives to Christ. Welch realized that kind of response was better than any praise heaped upon him for his musical abilities.
"When I got saved, I quit everything and left everyone and everything," Welch says. "I sold my house, quit my career and lived in hotels for a few months. I felt like God wanted me to wait, and that He was leading me to give my money away. Just to sell all my stuff and give it to the poor. It was tough. But instead of walking away, I started living what the Bible teaches. I bought a house in India that's now being used as an orphanage and started giving money away. Now I'm down to faith and God.
"I don't have millions any more at all. I'm like everybody else. It's a real walk of faith for me. I want the real walk, and I want to do the real stuff. I want Jesus to be filled in me. I want healing, and I want it all.
When you start reading through scripture and learn about the disciples-they were all martyred. They all rejoiced in their suffering. And I'm like 'Oh, wow.' And God is saying, ' You still want it?' And I'm like, 'Yeah, I still want it.'
When I'm going through suffering, I don't know how to rejoice. But I'm learning that. I got past that mindset of wanting to be the happy, quiet Christian. I want the power of His resurrection and to share in the fellowship of His suffering and to become like Him in death. Those are some crazy scriptures, but I know that's what I want."
Welch exposes the depth of his depravity and the amazing life he has found in Christ in his new book, Save Me from Myself. It exposes the soul of a man desperate for Jesus-and what happened when he found Him.
Though he left his friends in the band, Welch still keeps tabs on what is happening. He heard one of the band members got saved and that all of them have read his book. "That's exciting," he says. "I know God is working in their lives."
A familiar voice answered Welch's call. Instead of scorn or rejection, Welch was verbally embraced and invited over to dedicate his friend's three-month-old daughter.
"That was just amazing," Welch recalls. "I couldn't believe I was dedicating this guy's daughter to God, especially after all we did together. It just excites me to know that God has been working on this guy, and I get to be a part of that. That's what it's all about."

Save Me from Myself: How I Found God, Quit Korn, Kicked Drugs, and Lived to Tell My Story by Brian Welch is available at bookstores everywhere.